Sunday, February 21, 2010

Hijra Kids and The Barefeet Blogger

Initially Nandini the little child hijra stayed away from me, she thought I was some Boogie man.. and I am talking about the time we met at Ajmer Shrif , her foster parents bought her here to Haji Malang for the first time as she is very frail unlike her hijra sibling Mona the child eunuch.

Some corrective surgery has been done , Mona would romp about with a bleeding diaper at Ajmer Sharif a two years back, , I was too ashamed to look at it or even photograph him in that state.. and he knows I am his extended family .

Mona and I get along pretty well.. and luckily this time Nandini too was very friendly with me...and she is a good photographer like Mona..

Hijra kids are God gifted , highly talented creative but fragile creatures with broken wings and I am happy that God has made me an instrument to blog their world without hate or malice..

And I know Nandini must have smelt Marziyas fragrance on my poetic soul ..look at the picture with your inner eyes and you will know what I mean.

Yes blogging in a way heals my own wounds too.. if it heals your wounds than it is a double whammy..

Sheeshe Ko Pathar Se Takrane Ki Zaroorat Kya Thi

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jab aiee thi shamat to kyamat ki zaroorat kya thi
sheeshe ko pathar se takrane ki zaroorat kya thi

Yeh Kaise Kahoon Main Tume Chahta Hoon

119,344 items / 777,377 views

lab pe ati hai
yeh bat
kehte hue
ghabrata hoon
yeh kaise kahoon
main tumhe
chahta hoon
lafzon ki
ad main
bhigi billi
ki tarah
chup ho
jata hoon
apni tanhai
aur yeh
judai ko
samajhata hoon
tum ho paraiee
yeh bat
bar bar
bhool jata
ek sapna
na dekhne par
dar jata hoon

The Untouchable

of the rings
a shia pandit
a bleeding face
a hijra
out of place
both bound by
the ethnicity
of pain
two distinct
two different
roles showcase
each held
by silence
the same
a country
of peace
hope harmony
plenty hospitality
dignity and grace
that even the foreigner
loves to embrace
not being
born in India
on the soul
of my karmic
would have been
the greatest disgrace

Heena Meena Deeka

This was shot by a cross dresser a perfect picture of Heena Hijra and me ..

Two persons from two different worlds held together by a silken thread of Humanity.

And it does matter if you belong to any faith and yet dont belong to humanity.

Humanity is the core essence of Gods godliness , people search for it and it lies like an eye sore in your back yard and you dont see it because of blinkers on your eyes..

During Ramzan I would find that in spite of fasting the body and the soul were fully fed with an aura of godliness, and Heena Hijra actively follows the edicts in Ramzan.

I had gone to the Bandra Fish market and Mangla Koli the fisher woman friend of Marziya has invited me to Worli Fishing village to celebrate Holi with them ..and this too is part of the spectrum of humanity.

And the silence in my house without Marziya is really agonizing ..she gave us a feeling of belonging.. but than the roots of her maternal side too are important and she is lucky being on the main road at Kazmain she will see the Chup Tazia juloos pass by and the Alams and the Atthvi the best in Lucknow.

Luckily she wot have to see her paternal grand father cut his head with a sword and do the Tandav on the Soul of Shimr..yes Kama Matam on Athvi is gruesome and blood continues to flow even after you step out to celebrate Eid e Zehra on 9 Rabilawwal.. and I remember that my bleeding had continued for three days after Athvi.. being diabetic is carrying a fountain of blood on your head.

But the part that comes to my ,mind is little kids with their peckers piddling on the effigy of the killers of our beloved Imam at Kazmain.

I have still not decided where I will be on Athvi..not Govandi or Malad for sure as I have shot them both.,

The Photo Blogger in a Maze of Hijras

If You Dont Have it How Can You Flaunt it

you might have it at home
marital bliss kiss and miss
but at the dhaba
of street love
you might falter
might just
want it
taunt it
says the
hijra beauty
queen of mumbai
if you don have it
how can you flaunt it

dedicated to my hijra guru laxmi narayan tripathi
may she succeed in her Hijra Beauty contest do

If You Dont Have it How Can You Flaunt it

you might have it at home
marital bliss kiss and miss
but at the dhaba
of street love
you might falter
might just
want it
taunt it
says the
hijra beauty
queen of mumbai
if you don have it
how can you flaunt it

dedicated to my hijra guru laxmi narayan tripathi
may she succeed in her Hijra Beauty contest do

Ab Todo Apna Ghuroor

chand ka tukda
tumhara noor
main chahaoo
ya na chahoon
yeh meri
phuti kismet
ka kasoor
ek pahad
ki choti
tum humse
hum tumse door
meri chahat
tumhari sadgi
mera suroor
do kadam peeche
le liye maine
teri ashqui
se majboor

ab todo apna ghuroor
yeh judai ho gayi he nasoor

Naina of Najafgarh Naked Eyes

Naina belongs to Gopal Haji and Babita Hijras household, she is a divine dancer and a great human being , she is humility , simplicity , no arrogance or conceit..

She shocked me she has never seen any of her pictures on the Internet shot by me.. so now you know Naina of Najafgarh..

She climbs the mountains of Haji Malang every year and is generous all the beggars talk about her generosity.

I can shoot an entire 4 GB card if I am shooting Naina.. she is divine you have seen her pictures without make up too..

Hijra grooming is a fine art.. and I know sometimes when I close my eyes behind the viewfinder it is perhaps God hitting the trigger too pay tribute to the angst of this androgynous soul.

Hijras at Gopal Hajis Sandal

119,336 items / 776,719 views

I have known her for several years we first met at Park Site Vikhroli , my first hijra shooting adventure , she is from Gopal Haji and Babita hijras gharana or household.

She is a fantastic dancer a very loving human being,I was at Gopal Hajiis house at Haji Malang were this series was shot a dance recital and than the hijras came out on the streets with Babita hija carrying the sandal, her two hijra kids Mona and Nandini..

A lot of dance and sweatiness I did not dance this time due to Moharam , but I shot this event i chronicling the angst of the Hijras and their ancestral connection to Sufi Shrines.

And Gopal Hajis camera had failed so I am sure his ward Mona Child Eunuch must be hunting for these pictures that I am posting a month after the event.

Mona is a net savvy child eunuch.

However I aborted this shoot as I was too tired barefeet to carry on and the path was in total darkness so it made no sense shooting this on a fucked Nikon camera flash.

I have till now posted 866 pictures on my Flickr photo stream of the Hijras at Haji Malang 2010..

And I am told Google Search are considering giving me a high end camera a Canon of course for all the work I have done on the Hijras and shared it free with everyone on Google Cyberspace..

I have kept my knuckles and my ankles crossed

The Cross Dressers Come Out Of The Closet

The Cross Dressers at Haji Malang mostly belong to Mumbai, and I write in abundance but believe me I have never spoken for long to either the hijras or the cross dressers.

But they like me , and this is plain ,I write positively about both the diverse community, sharing a common curse called Article 377 .

I shoot simple pictures I care a fuck for technique or FStops I shoot from my heart and soul.And God likes me shooting his neglected lot, God helps me get good pictures , he and the Holy Spirit act like divine light and reflectors.

I avoid text , most of my pictures are textures of the deprived soul, dried tears of pain, yes I have no obsession or fetish I am not into hijra sex , and I have fallen in love several times on the Internet, but never with the person of the same sex , cross dresser or Hijra and this is not justifying disclaimer.

Love as a poet is unavoidable even if you are rocking a leaking boat , or even if you are happily married for 33 years , love is not a nights fling at least for me on the internet it pushed my head into the toilet bowl I came out writing poetry , you might call it Shit.
Fuck You.This is to the voice in my head that makes me do all the wrong things at the right time..
And I dont care if my daughter Sam reading this reports it to her mother..and I realized you dont need to lick ass of poets on a poetry site to become a poet..

Poets like photographers are born not made..fuck shelf life too..
And this lunch was hosted by Heena Hijra the uncrowned Queen of Hijras of the Mumbai Cages.. She is a very rare beauty , she has quality of Love I never found among other Hijras , she does not use you.. And I love her in a profound way , the first time I came to the Cages , to shoot the misery of the Peela House prostitutes with the help from a local Bhai, Don,his goons had accompanied me to protect me from the kicks punches of the pimps and prostitutes..

I wore my signature attire I had blonde hair , lot of jewelry so Heena who accosted me asked me if I was a Hijra too...I loved this half man half woman instantly.. all men at some given time of god forsaken moodiness are hijras too ha ha ha .,.we merely play to the gallery with the artifacts of our shallow deceitful masculinity..

So Heena called me over to her place would not allow me to shoot her pictures , and I dont know she let down her guard and I shot her first pictures against a pigeon coop...without make up, these are my best pictures of a hijra beauty in a wild lotus in a shitty pond.

So even writing a blog on cross dressers can bring out your angst like seminal stains on the soul of ones consciousness..

I am happy to have Heena Hijra as my friend well wisher and benefactor too, without her I would never have dared to shoot the notorious red light area of Mumbai.

And these are stray thoughts on a sultry Sunday morning...the world is asleep I am awake..

Uploading The Angst Anguish of the Hijras

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I have till now uploaded 790 photo blogs to my Hijras in Haji Malang 2010set at Flickr.
And the Internet yesterday was a warring zone thanks to You Telecom ,outage and real bad connection , to upload 172 pictures of this lot took an entire day, I had to restart the uploader each time it crashed and blogging is part of my spare time world..

When I am at work I am at work sincerely and efficiently.

When I come back from work I blog, I dont socialize I am a a loner I stay to myself and Marziiyas absence has depressed me further.

I had a few hours sleep now I shall go make a cup of black tea and upload the next lot of pictures . of the Hijras in Haji Malang.

Those of you who have seen Haji Malang know , that both sides of a narrow lane , the only lane that reaches the Dargah are hotels and florist shops where the Hijras stay, when you see a lot of young kids hanging around you know the hijras and the cross dressers are close by.

I have the Sandal pictures of Babita and Gopal Haji to post.

Babita hijra and Gopal Haji have been my well wishers since many years ,and they keep calling me to their Hijra enclave or Sammelans but my world holds me back..

And in reality or in retrospection I shoot hijras , because I feel their anguish and pain as a poet and on the other hand as a photographer I document their angst.

However I must confess I like shooting the streets from my moving cab or rickshah.

I dont own a public transport serves my street photography.

Next week a dynamic French photographer a Buzznet friend is coming down to Mumbai and there is a lot to learn from him ,,, he is the ultimate in post processing.

And it is 4 am Mumbai time yes bloggers rarely sleep..

The Hijra Cleavage

a poem of
pain that
time braves
the spirit is willing
the flesh craves
for a rainy day
a treasure chest
she saves
dying standing
in her grave
punished by
an original sin
her tormentors
she forgave
tears on the soul
of her freedom
to article 377
this hijra slave
my home page
hope washed away
by truant waves
god save the hijra
from old age

Hypnotic Hijra Eyes

as you enter
the winding maze
of her hypnotic
hijra eyes
you see her
androgynous birth
you hear
her childish cries
a deserted soul
how when why
a hijra beauty
over priced
defying time and tide
a broken rib
from mans side
on the down slide
something she shows
some things she hides
on the crest of fate
he destiny rides
a fleshy soul
dichotomy of distrust
her body divides
pain like a dying cacti
in her heart resides
searching for a bridegroom
this reluctant restless bride
a bit of vanity a bit of pride
memories burning
recklessly in the ashes
of a mourning fireside

Photographing The Soul Of A Hijra

Every photographer, the amateur the hot shot all love shoot faces , but sometimes a face shoots you too ,if you are a photographer cum poet like me.

This is Khushi from Mumbai a trans gender a dancer that would teach any choreographer unlearn dancing..

I shot all these pictures but never one did ask her about herself , not interested I shoot and the picture says it all..and I have met her early too when she was a bit plumper too at Simran Dancers birthday party I shot at Madh Island.

Khushi at Haji Malang had the guys at Haji Malang drooling all over their pants , and she did not care for any of them all tearing her physicality her voluptuousness with their road side voyeuristic eyes.

As a photographer you get attuned to reading light as a poet you read the silence off sound you read ripples where no ripple become Blake etching emotions on the sands of time..

I am a street photographer I sweep and shoot the streets of pain , if all my photo blogs were taken together they would all come under the genre of street photography..

Amazingly I did not hang around at Haji Malang for Sultan Shah Babas sandal which is a favorite of the hijras , I am not a greedy fisherman I know when to let go the rod hook line and sinker.

I climbed down the Malangad mountains barefeet, leaving behind the hijras , without an iota of regret but before leaving I paid my respects to my Hijra Guru Laxmi Narayan Tripathi , presented her a 35 year old antique silver stick..I knew it would go better with her personality.

And I wont be shooting the Hijra Beauty contest at Kalyan I have not been invited , and I wont gatecrash ha ha ..

I am happy shooting the androgynous beauty of the Hijras that beg on the roads whose lives not even God can change..

And tomorrow is Salman Khans cycle race at the Sea Link , after the race and before the race the beggar will be where he is and this is the reality of our lfe we hype situations but the common beggar is fucked from asshole to eternity..
Yes I shoot beggars as they shoot me too with socketless eyes.. do socketless eyes shed tears I really dont know ..

But yes as a Shia I shot a drop of tear from the eyes of a Shia and yes I could see the ancestry of our pain..yes the bigot will never remember the Holocaust at Karbala..

And this post I dedicate to a Shia Hijra Bundulshehr ,this senior Hijra Guru died recently at her pious feet I learnt the tenets of my Faith as no Mullah would have taught me, she taught me Humanity and it had a single name Hussain , I am crying as I write this , that even Hijras can teach you about life..

I am happy that shooting Hindus , Christians Naga Sadhus the Malangs Rafaees the Hjras has not corroded my soul.. and a mans Faith that was born in his Mothers womb could no be swept away by a terrorizing moment of fear or any other stray thought ..

Yes Ooops Fuck Taqqaiya ,,