The Hijda with Cleopatras Nose

The Hijda with Cleopatras Nose
Originally uploaded by flickr photographerno1

The sculptor
a block of clay
moulding
Adonis ,
shapely limbs,
angular
oval shaped face
doe eyed
a hour glass
soft manly contour
mesmerizing muscles
flat stomach
bounteous buttocks
incomplete gender
a mound of venus
a hint of a penis
later he would
sculpt and render
to sleep did surrender
he dreamt
from within
the fires of Adonis
a phoenix rose
long flaming red hair
feminine charm godly pose
naked dripping embers
honey toed
she walked in to
the sculptors studio
poetic prose
her genitals
diaphonous
curtains
of godly
clothes
you saw
beauty
bowered
as it grows
entwined
in repose
Eunuch
diety
superimpose
The sculptor
awoke from his doze
his dream into
flesh transpose
completed
the statue
of the Hijda
with Cleopatras nose

Main Hoon Hijda Pehchan Mujhe

Main Hoon Hijda Pehchan Mujhe
Originally uploaded by flickr photographerno1

Zindagi mili khairaat mein
murjhaye hue phool jaise
paton ke jazbaat mein
beech ka rahegaya
baaton hi baat mein
tanhai ki baarish
bheega ratton raat mein
hosh aaya to mera mukkadar
nachte hue pairo ko
sambhale hue
gairon ki baarat mein
haan main bikti hoon
roz raat
mardon ki bazaar mein
mein hoon hijda
pehchan mujhe
kuchle hue mere gehne
meri kismet, meri nisbat
aurat ke nakaab mein
aankh se gira ek aansu
pyase samandar
ke jawaab mein
pehchan mujhe
badhai deti hoon
tu sada khush rahe
meri kismet
ki angar ne lag jaye tujhe
pehchan mujhe



This was a poem I wote , a long time back at poem hunter , I have added a few extra lines , this is a poem of pain , for me being a Muslim, I feel ashamed I never learnt Urdu, I cannot read or write, it is the Marsiyas that I hear during Moharam,that bring me this sense of betrayal to my mother tongue.. I feel no language has the master of Imagery like Urdu, making love in Urdu would be a very difficult situation each one saying Pehle Ap Pehle Ap..
My mothers family were seeped to the hilt in Marsiyakhani, I regret , that I never made an effort all these 50 years or so..My maternal grandfather Daroga Nabban Saab of Pata Nala was from the family of Mir Anis.
I feel I have missed the bus…whatever I have written is jumbled words of a domesticised home Urdu..
Those days of my childhood, there was hardly anyone to teach us, neither did my parents enforce it, it was English that became the lingua franca of the Mind..It became the language of my guilt, the language of my thoughts…
I feel proud that Asif Shakir my eldest son , learnt Urdu Arabic Farsi all very recently self studying it from the Internet.

April 26th, 2007

The Eunuchs of Ajmer

The Eunuchs of Ajmer
Originally uploaded by flickr photographerno1

With a floundering hope
At the Urus
Of Khwaja Moinuddin Chishti
they come
to be reborn as
normal human beings
to a death wish succumb
the good the bad the ugly and the scum
all under their Gurus thumb..
the Nayaks
all those pretty bums
soundless sounds of empty drums
Ajmer the Eunuchs kingdom come

the aged hags , the tongue tied wags
breasts that sag, bodies that are tattered rags
bulbous bloated unbreathing bags
beauty queen on Indian mags,
all clinging to a single flag
the hijdas , the chakkas, and the drags

Moti Katra rooms they choose
bonded , love labour sex
they ooze ..sunny side up
you wont refuse ..once
just once break taboos
chillum , smoke some cruise
love , love and no abuse
feminine flippancy
to enthuse
you win some
some you lose
monochromatic mornings
colorful hues
a cup of chai
Hijda views
on chatti,
barefeet as dancing shoes
the Eunuchs of Ajmer
Internet News..

dedicated to the Hijdas of Ajmer

Hijda Unspoken Dreams

Hijda Unspoken Dreams
Originally uploaded by flickr photographerno1

Hijda dreams
Voiceless
Don’t speak
Remoteless
Shrieks
And the soul
A wrong body seeks
And tears
Crystals
On frost bitten cheeks
And faces
Unmoulded
Unsculptured
antiques
ageless
trauma
turbulence
traumatic
enervating
like splinters
of scattering light
through the
Venetian blinds
the Hijdas
Kicked Kismet
Tricked Kismet
Licked Kismet
Sneaks
as endangered
engendered
freaks
To be enjoined
To Lord Iraavan
At Koovagam
A nervous night
Undisturbed
Pleasure seeks
And at dawn
A new widowhood
Raises its ugly
Head like the hood
Of a deathly serpent
The hijdas
Undeciphered
Dreams
Bespeaks
overfilled bladder
that bursts
on the Hijdas Destiny
before it leaks
paraphrased punishment
as it peaks.

A Voiceless Hijdas Curse

A Voiceless Hijdas Curse
Originally uploaded by flickr photographerno1

Where there is a will there is a way
At Turner Road traffic signal
On a wet and soggy rainy day
Lady May saw a Hijda in a red saree
And no coins to pay
She shooed it by the way
She imagined the hijda
with his curse ,
her husband he would slay
a thought she wished to happen
her inner mind
did betray ..
to be cursed some more
she jumped the lights
knocking the hijda
for the fulfillment
of the curse
fled away

The Hijda in a red saree
does not curse
He is a voiceless
Voice box ruptured mute
When the traffic comes to a halt
At the red light
He sees the stinginess of your soul
And the pettiness of your purse
Pusillanimous line of verse
To the point of being terse
As you honk and tell him
Androgynous amorphous
Red sareed apparition
to disperse
Your over laden
well endowed womanhood
you lethal charm
dubious duplicity
he need not rehearse
to kill your husband
he made your task easier
the marital vow the dumb priest
to carry on for better and worse
with or without the Hijdas curse
a thought steamy eyed
in the sinewy arms of your
naked lover
you did harbor and nurse
you and your wild dreams
encapsulated
with you lover in a car
your husband in a hearse
with all you money
the hijdas pain his sorrow
his despair
you and your kind
cannot reimburse.
Or his karma dharma
And his hermaphrodite
soulless agony
Ever reverse

The Monochromatic Melancholy of a Eunuch

The Monochromatic Melancholy of a Eunuch
Originally uploaded by flickr photographerno1

sandwiched
between man and woman
predestined bad luck
the third sex
hijda hermaphrodite
coveniently called eunuch
facial hair pluck
a sucked system
that their ass fucks
old decadent sodomy laws
when they get caught
they are stuck
an issue they ignore
macho masculinity
calls it yuck
metrosexxual hijda
unbothered big bucks
the hijdas who beg
at the traffic signal
run over by trucks
yes mumbai the dream city
migrants influx ..
bollywood strugglers
bobby darling
a little pot luck
star gazing
survival moon struck

April 26th, 2007

Hijdafied Herds

Hijdafied Herds
Originally uploaded by flickr photographerno1

hijda eroticness
hijda astride
hijda joyride
hijda glide
hijda cried
hijda lied
hijda bride
hijda pride
hijda shied
hijda hide
hijda side
hijda popeyed
hijda shangied
hijda fluoride
hijda wide
hijda tied
hijda guide
hijda sighed
hijda oxide
hijda reside
hijda bedside
hijda eyed
hijda cockeyed
hijda denied
hijda rockside
hijda backside
hijda chide
hijda wayside
hijda died
hijda glassseyed
hijda upside
hijda downside
hijda inside
hjda outside
hijdafied
hijdaworldwide

to my hijda guru lakshmi narayan tripathi…hijda tonguetied

The Hijdas Sigh

The Hijdas Sigh
Originally uploaded by flickr photographerno1

The Hijda
Doe eyed
Looked up
At the heavens
Pearl like
Genderless tears
That fell and cried
Yes the best of me
In the amniotic
Fluid undrowned
Had died
Unsculptured
Penile agony
Twisted testicular
Pain
Pre empted prejudice
That trampled
My humanless pride
One night at
Koovagam
Koothandavar diety
And faith by my side
Lord Iravan in my soul did glide
A single night marital bliss
Of an incomplete bride
And in the morning
The broken thali
My broken bangles
My widowed whispers
My pain and my soul
Tongue tied
Oh Father who art in heaven
Adam Eve the Serpent
All three had lied
Was I the first born
Or is it a truth
From the world
That you hide
born a male child
a female fantasy
within my being
that resides..
The Lord
Looked down
It rained tearlike
And yes he had
Replied
unbroken silence
in a hijdas sigh

The Smile of the Eunuch

The Smile of the Eunuch
Originally uploaded by flickr photographerno1

She was a friendly eunuch... her toothy smile was 32 little bulbs shining at the same time.

it is a burnt out
hijda who is often hostile
behaviour that
of delinquent juvenile
but some they
light up the environment
with their eunuch smile
transcedental tantric love
not to beguile
the hijda profle
more womanly than a woman
their lifestyle
karma dharma
at cross roads
a medicine wheel
reconcile
a barren androgynous
amorphous soul
once again fertile
vivaciously versatile
hijdaeroticness
that i pictorially compile
at my flickring websites
to make it worthwhile
my tribute
to the hijdas
free of cost
not mercantile

This was the most enchanting Hijda lady.. I met at Moti Katra Ajmer.. I have never been able to forget her eunuch smile.

The Hijdas Cry

The Hijdas Cry
Originally uploaded by flickr photographerno1

The heart rending cry
Of a Hijda
Transgender terrestrial
Hermaphrodite
On raised tips of his toes
As he reaches the sky
Fleshy earth trembles
Another potholed heaven
Beneath his feet lie
And he questions eternity
From the rib of a woman
Came I ..
Why Oh Why
tears that hold
Back his sigh on a virginal
Spotlessly speckless
Hanky, hanker
For a second and die.
Renamed
Reborn
Kaajal
Kohl eyed
Shakila Syeds
Maternal pride
A Throttled soul inside
a womanly
bodied bride
Outside
Her flesh of man
Her soul of a woman
The great divide
A pictureless thought
a bleeding bromide



I met Kaajal at Moti Katra with the very learned and hailing from a royal family Shakila Syed eunuch lady who would not allow me to photograph her.. but gave me permission to shoot Kajaal her protege .

I am Zeenat the Eunuch She Cried

I am Zeenat the Eunuch She Cried
Originally uploaded by flickr photographerno1

I met Zeenat the eunuch at Moti Katra Ajmer, she hails from the early African settlers known as Siddhi who settled down on the west coat of India known as Gujrat.
She thought I was a fashion photographer , and gave me some perspiring moments, all this was shot in Basanti the Eunuch Queens room in her absence..
Zeenath is the wildest eunuch, a strange anomalous primal force..

Man woman entwined
Orgiastic emotions
Roller coaster ride
Back drop silence
Seminal splurtings
At high tide and
Ebbed desires that
Slip and slide undried
Yes I am Zeenat
The Eunuch she cried

Passions of a lusty woman
Burglarized jewels
Of a first night
Castrated chaotic
Cataleptic coming of Age
An incomplete bride
The bed , the pillow
The bed sheet hidden pride
Rearing a hope
And a split
Open wide
Yes I am Zeenat
the Eunuch she lied

to be a woman
she tried ..
and gave birth
to this poem
before she died..
an uncut umbilical poetic pause
words bleeding and left inside…
miscarriage aborted .. agony
that she could not hide..
I am Zeenat the Eunuch
an epitaph ..
a mound
a tombstone
love denied.

dedicated to Samiya my daughter who still wonders why I write eunuch poetry..

The cry of a eunuch

The cry of a eunuch
Originally uploaded by flickr photographerno1

The cry of a eunuch
You won’t hear
Man born to hate and love
The eunuch born to fear
Spawning generations
From the front
And a eunuch
Backfired rear
And dashed hopes
Embedded in a drop of tear
Testicular travesty
And a manhood skewered
The wail of a eunuch
you wont hear
simulating sorrow
the laugh and the jeer
a baby’s birth blessings
dance and cheer
vertical death
and an upright bier
the shame of a eunuch
hardened humanity
an androgynous smear
the voiceless cry of a eunuch
wont disappear
man woman
and a new frontier.

picture shot at ajmer 2006.. of kaajal a eunuch

Androgynous Amorphous

Androgynous Amorphous
Originally uploaded by flickr photographerno1

Androgynous amorphous
Born as man
Living as women
without fuss
hijda eunuch
transgender
all in the same bus
pitfalls,
ostracization
denigration
sanctimonious
society
has no time
to sit back and
discuss
the sorrows of a eunuch
gouged eyes of a system
and tears of dry blood and pus.