Saturday, September 13, 2014

A Message from FBI Agent James William.. Catcher In The Eye




AGENT WILLIAMS @elegantindustries.net


Federal Bureau of Investigation Intelligence Field Unit J. Edgar Hoover Building 935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington, D.C. URGENT ATTENTION BENEFICIARY WE SINCERELY APOLOGIZED FOR SENDING YOU THIS SENSITIVE INFORMATION VIA E-MAIL INSTEAD OF A CERTIFIED MAIL, POST-MAIL, PHONE OR FACE TO FACE CONVERSATION, IT IS DUE TO THE URGENCY AND IMPORTANCE OF THE SECURITY INFORMATION OF OUR CITIZENRY, I AM SPECIAL AGENT JAMES WILLIAMS FROM THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (FBI) INTELLIGENCE UNIT, WE HAVE JUST INTERCEPTED AND CONFISCATED TWO (2) TRUNK BOX AT JFK AIRPORT IN NEW YORK, AND ARE ON THE VERGE OF MOVING IT TO OUR BUREAU HEAD QUARTERS. WE SCANNED THE SAID BOX, AND FOUND IT CONTAINS TOTAL SUM OF $4.1 MILLION AND ALSO BACKUP DOCUMENT WHICH BEARS YOUR NAME AS THE RECEIVER OF THE MONEY CONTAINED IN THE BOX, INVESTIGATIONS CARRIED OUT ON THE DIPLOMAT WHICH ACCOMPANIED THE BOX INTO UNITED STATES SAID HE WAS TO DELIVER THIS FUNDS TO YOUR RESIDENCE AS PAYMENT DUE YOU FROM THE OFFICE OF FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF NIGERIA AS UNPAID BENEFICIARY. WE CROSS-CHECKED ALL LEGAL DOCUMENTATION IN THE BOX, AND WERE ABOUT TO RELEASE THE CONSIGNMENT TO THE DIPLOMAT WHEN WE FOUND OUT THAT THE BOX WAS LACKING ONE VERY IMPORTANT DOCUMENT WHICH MAKES US CONFISCATE THE BOX. ACCORDING TO SECTION 229 SUBSECTION 31 OF THE 1991 CONSTITUTION IN MONEY LAUNDERING, YOUR CONSIGNMENT LACKS PROOF OF OWNERSHIP CERTIFICATE FROM THE JOINT TEAM OF THE IRS AND HOMELAND SECURITY, REPLY FOR DIRECTION ON HOW TO PROCURE THIS CERTIFICATE WHICH WILL ENABLE YOU RELIEVED OF THE CHARGES OF MONEY LAUNDERING WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE UNDER SECTION 12 SUBSECTION 441 OF CONSTITUTION ON MONEY LAUNDERING. YOU ARE REQUIRED TO REPLY THIS LETTER WITHIN 72HOURS, OR YOU WILL BE ARRESTED, INTERROGATED AND PROSECUTED IN THE COURT OF LAW FOR MONEY LAUNDERING. ALSO, YOU MUST NOT CONTACT ANY OTHER BANK OR PERSON IN NIGERIA OR UNITED KINGDOM OR ANY PART OF THE WORLD FOR ANY PAYMENT, BECAUSE YOUR PAYMENT HAVE BEEN CONFISCATED BY THIS BUREAU HERE IN THE UNITED STATES.. YOURS IN SERVICE AGENT JAMES WILLIAMS REGIONAL DIRECTOR


Thank you Agent James Williams Regional Director FBI

I thought it is important to give you a reply
how many guys your have screwed with this con
you make me laugh hilariously please dont lie
this time dear conman you have sent your message
to the wrong guy ,,i am a beggar poet who begs on
the streets with a camera shooting sorrow of people
before they die ..you can take all the money you have
confiscated and shove it up your rectum with every try
use a nice gel or Vaseline must i imply ,,than go fly
down to Nigeria the land of scamsters ,,Burkina Faso
with the money up your ass nice babes you could buy
dear agent james williams a conman on the sly ..
be careful you dont get caught or your balls they
will mince and fry....take care bye bye goodbye

Our Education System Is About How Many Rocks You Carry In Your School Bag




a friend asked another friend
why was his daughter hunched
her back all curved as she
munched away her lunch
in her school bag full of
rocks .. space crunch

at school beaten  by her hot tempered \volatile school teacher she is kicked grievously punched

Bandra Bazar Road Is Dying Slowly ,, But Surely





The Heritage Of The Dhobis Of Bandra Bazar Road


Once upon a time , many years back the entire Bandra Reclamation area and parts of Bandra Bazar road was a sea front , where the Dhobis dried the clothes and it was a Dhobi Ghat .

When all this land was reclaimed slums became buildings the Dhobis got rooms in place of their tenements and till this day Shaheen Building houses the Dhobis they wash the clothes get it dried near Carter Road and have it pressed in these rooms .

Most of the Dhobis are Bhaiyyas North Indian migrants .. the other race that stayed alongside here with them were the Kathiawadis and the Karie Muslims of Konkan the place is till this day called Karie  chawl.

With the advent of the jeans and second hand cloth sellers of Bandra Hill Road the Dhobis got a new lease on their profession , these clothes are washed altered pressed and re sold much cheaper than the stores on Bandra Hill Road .

The small time Bakda tailors alter the big size jeans into drain pipe stilettos , or cut the badly used jeans into micro shorts that fashionistas buy off the streets .

The Dhobis still grumble that the builders who bought their slums gave them a raw deal as they had huge sprawling houses in the past on the shoreline that  is now the Reclamation and Bazar Road .

This part of Bandra is the most neglected area of the Queen of the Suburbs , given  step motherly treatment by all the politicians who represent this area ,,,the worst deal was given to the East Indian original inhabitants of Bandra fishing villages known as Gaothans ,, sadly any political party that comes to power forgets to develop this this rich heritage block where all communities live in peace hope harmony.

For last 15 years this area has been taken for a ride ..the local bazar is the filthiest dirtiest , open garbage , open gutters , open drains but our local representatives are the only ones that cant see it ,,they are busy developing Pali Hill Carter Road Band Stand and Linking Road Khar Santarcruz..

And there is a drubbing in the offing because you cant fool all the people all the time with false promises colorful brochures and Dengue Free Bandra .

I hope Advocate Ashish Shelar and Mr Aaditya Thackeray Ms Punam Mahajan read this too.. the ruling satraps dont read blogs ,,


Bakra Eid Is On 6 October ,,Tells The Cat To The Dumba Goats




soon you wont be
eating with me
leftovers of bandra
residents she
bemusedly tells
the goats ,,
the butcher
will sell you
profitably
to cut your
throats
i will miss you
dear friend
the most ,,
the silken
 warmth of
your glistening
coats the best of
you as biryani
your flesh they
will roast ..we
bought dumbas
to their envious
neighbors
they will boast

wiping her whiskers
a few drops of tears
their feline friend
their host ,,
dumbass society
they said we hate
it the utmost

The Muslim Vote Bank,, Was Made To Fill In The Blank



15 years
nothing has
changed
so whom
do they
 thank
after giving
their valuable
vote the ship
of their destiny
sank..their lives
more miserable
stormy seas of
despair holding
a plywood plank

dreams that tanked

A New Circus Is Coming Town - Dance Of Democracy Upside Down




candidates
juggling clowns
kaun banega
minister
ab kya bataun
sabki phati hai
kismet mera desh
mera gaon ,,
billi boli meow
kis chue ko main
kha jaun..

memories of last
election from the
past i bring it to
you every
memorable
ounce ,,

the name of the lucky  unlucky candidate
paid media will announce ,,,post dated
cheques that will bounce ,,,

Gar Kute Political Savvy Ban Jayenge




gar kutey
political savvy
 ban jayenge
har gali main
nara lagayenge
stray dog population
ke massiah ban jayenge
inko vote do
yeh raste ke kutton ko
pedigree ke
 certificate dilayenge
acche acche
 khab dikhayenge
hadi accha malik aur makan
bhok bhokke
nara lagayenge
maneka ji ka
adar samman
 badayenge
gas chamber
dog slaughter house
ko completely
band karwayenge
kuton ki nagri ko
insan ki nagri se
accha banayenge
jab kutte neta
ban jayenge
foreign trip lagayenge
bade bade  mall
building complex
kutton ke liye banayenge
kutte insan ki tarah
kutton ko nahi satayenge


dedicated to guido the troll dog ugly pug


They Will Forget The Muslim Man Once They Win





now is the season
 to hook him in
his valuable
vote is important
they make false
promises ..they
will throw him
in the dustbin
once they win
15 years of
one party
blisters on
his withering
skin youth from
his community
as suspects
locked in
living in
ghettos
slums
dreamless
destiny
keeps
hitting him
with a
rolling pin
his fate as
flexible as
corrugated
tin..the muslim
voter betrayed
by the politics
of appeasement
gets nothing
in return a kick
up his regressive
butt his invisible chin
sent round and round
round and round on
on an unforgettable
spin..

politicians of all color diversity
will take him to the dry cleaners
his vote his biggest sin a marker
on his freshly dug grave reads
Bhaijaan Welcome In