Main Hoon Hijda Pehchan Mujhe
Originally uploaded by flickr photographerno1
Zindagi mili khairaat mein
murjhaye hue phool jaise
paton ke jazbaat mein
beech ka rahegaya
baaton hi baat mein
tanhai ki baarish
bheega ratton raat mein
hosh aaya to mera mukkadar
nachte hue pairo ko
sambhale hue
gairon ki baarat mein
haan main bikti hoon
roz raat
mardon ki bazaar mein
mein hoon hijda
pehchan mujhe
kuchle hue mere gehne
meri kismet, meri nisbat
aurat ke nakaab mein
aankh se gira ek aansu
pyase samandar
ke jawaab mein
pehchan mujhe
badhai deti hoon
tu sada khush rahe
meri kismet
ki angar ne lag jaye tujhe
pehchan mujhe
This was a poem I wote , a long time back at poem hunter , I have added a few extra lines , this is a poem of pain , for me being a Muslim, I feel ashamed I never learnt Urdu, I cannot read or write, it is the Marsiyas that I hear during Moharam,that bring me this sense of betrayal to my mother tongue.. I feel no language has the master of Imagery like Urdu, making love in Urdu would be a very difficult situation each one saying Pehle Ap Pehle Ap..
My mothers family were seeped to the hilt in Marsiyakhani, I regret , that I never made an effort all these 50 years or so..My maternal grandfather Daroga Nabban Saab of Pata Nala was from the family of Mir Anis.
I feel I have missed the bus…whatever I have written is jumbled words of a domesticised home Urdu..
Those days of my childhood, there was hardly anyone to teach us, neither did my parents enforce it, it was English that became the lingua franca of the Mind..It became the language of my guilt, the language of my thoughts…
I feel proud that Asif Shakir my eldest son , learnt Urdu Arabic Farsi all very recently self studying it from the Internet.
April 26th, 2007
