Thursday, October 3, 2013

I Sometimes Wonder Why People Bring Religion Into Art Of Living

To me religion hardly matters , because if religion belittles and narrows my vision , makes me see people as superior inferior than it is meaningless.. I moved away from congregational thought .. I live on my terms I have absolutely no issue with another mans religion or faith..I keep away from people who proselytize I keep away from bigots ..I follow my inner self and this was a picture shot of an Acharya who visits the Hanuman Temple at Bandra Bazar Road , once I shot it during their Hanuman festival, but for last two years I have not been able to do so.. and I have stopped shooting pictures ..I have no urge or the passion of yore .. I am getting older , and besides with limit on uploading at Flickr I avoid my old trigger hitting impulses .

This year I shot less and will shoot less I prefer to rework my old pictures as BW through Aviary and if you guys wonder why I get up at 4 am to blog, well it is a tragic tale..bed bugs entered our house , innumerable pest control measures local powders Khatnil has not been able to get them out from our lives , they trouble me and my wife the most, we both get up at odd hours to kill them she dips them in water with Khatnil I mercilessly kill them with my hands ..there are many things that can be done remove all the wooden furniture , get it polished , paint the house but than at the moment it is not possible .. I will have to wait for some better days.

Marziya sleeps with my wife so they dont spare her either ..and the bed I sleep is where loads of my negatives , transparencies old books etc are kept .. unless I throw them out ,, and we have tried every thing spent a lot of money but they keep multiplying ,, so I get up and to forget them I blog .. poetize my pain all in the night or wee hours of the morning.

So I search old pictures bring them out from the shoe box at Flickr , use Aviary to refresh repost ..some pictures need the original color ... and this was the time I wore the Lama skirt I hate tight clothes , I have never worn jeans dont agree with me.. I used to wear saffron bright colors I only wear black the color of my inner pain , and the dress code of my Malangness ,,, I am not a photographer nor am I a poet poet ..I am able to see and shoot and able to juggle words on the tapestry of what I shoot..

I was given an award as a photographer for shooting transgender I politely refused one because I am not into competitive photography, I have been that path as a salon shooter , secondly I told them to give it to some young guy it would motivate him more than me and youngsters need motivation,,photography has never been a simple easy task as it has been made more confusing with the artistry of expensive lenses cameras etc..

And so as a first time grand father with no other major vices than photography I thought it best to teach Marziya to shoot and she shoots with sheer confidence that comes first from how you hold your camera and how you respect your camera ..all my 3 grandchildren wont take the camera before first putting it round their neck,, and strangely all 3 of them try to shoot like me..they have yet to read camera manuals or get on the footboard of fucked F stops ..

Life was a few month back very easy I had a great job perks only I had to change my look my attire I did but I realized I was gradually becoming a slavish dog , and was expected to lick my masters boots like his other pet dogs I touched his feet and walked back into my wilderness and my daily struggle .. with the job I could have paid back a few people I owed I cleared a lot of my debts.. but I could not be bossed around and handover my freedom including my reluctant ass from being torn apart for the wrong reasons..

I dont debate with people or their minds I dont get angry being by myself I have no friends .I dont go to places of worship I keep away from who want me to be one of their own.. I am not..I shoot alone ,, I enjoy my grand kids their love for fish aquarium and finches ..I become a child with them.. it is nice at the twilight of my lifes fading light ,,,.

My American friend is worried about Moharam , he wants to shoot Lucknow , he wants to shoot Hyderabad and I told him I would go with him any place did not matter though personally I prefer Hyderabad , he was not sure so he will shoot Moharam in Delhi ,, I dont shoot Moharam in Mumbai at all so I will wait might go to Delhi I love him too much this crazy Jewish friend of mine .. he loves me like crazy too.

And I type with one finger and it hurts , after some time I make mistakes I was recenly sending a message to my doctor friends father in law on his phone via my BB and instead of typing dear I accidentally typed dead .. and when I realized it it was a million apologies ..because I cant see perfectly with my glasses too .. I took my blood sugar after a year .. things can be pretty bad and the forgetfulness of aging mind.

And I have a busy day today , my miya friends down the road in the slums now give me hearty salaams for sharing screen space with Mr Shahid Kapoor ,,, and I am thankful to him because he bore the brunt of my hazar re takes ,,I hate acting .. and with Mr Raj Kumar Santoshi a perfectionist you have to be a born actor or give up acting.. he wont give me another role in his life time I think.. he gave me a role in China Gate and than Phata Poster Nikla Hero.

Now I will make a cup of black tea and than go back to sleep furtively dream bed bugs..

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