This picture was shot at Moti Katla ,,and I was invited by a transgender to meet a new eunuch child Mahi , a very sweet boy about 8 or 9 year old , he was going to become a hijra .. because he was born a hermaphrodite , he was happy among this group , and they treated him as one of their own , pampering him like a living doll , and he was fascinated with my camera I shot a lot of pictures, he was a unique case , I had shot a lot of eunuch children , but there was sadness glistening like rivulets in his eyes he trusted me and I was not in my usual sartorial self,, because of the Ajmer heat and this was the Urus of 2012 , I had shot over 2900 pictures a vast tapestry ,,,Malangs Rafaees Street and the Hijras..
And now I am revisiting this set after 3 years , trying recover wisdom from lost moments lost time ,, I am seeing my pictures differently .
I spent most of my time before Chatti documenting the transgender sadly I regret I should have shot videos , but I had no passion for video I was a single frame traditionalist I told my story through a single frame and let it run with other pictures as a story board.
I dont think in all humility anyone has shot the hijra as closely without corrupting their humanity or their womanly sensuality ,, I saw them as broken dolls seeking help .. trying to touch a core that sadly does not exist in modern man of Indian origin..
In short I shot their sufferings as a poet and as sensitively as I could and than decided one day to lock up this entire gamut of rich human feelings of men posing as woman their anomalous androgynous nature ,, 20000 images ,, I shut them and only shot for myself, I shot the transgender in trains bullying passengers , showing their genitalia extorting money , I shot them soliciting in the red light areas called cages of Mumbai ,, I shot them in their budoirs I shot them almost everywhere in utmost decency ,,
I shot the rooms where they worked in inhuman conditions , and felt sorry that they live worse than animals ,,
I shot transgender that had made a name as hairdressers , make up artists , entrepreneurs bardancers , scholars , shamans , exorcists and courtesans mujra dancers ,,hijra peformers at Musllm weddings in the slums , ,, my pictures were not for voyeurism , titillation or masturbation ,,,because I shot their raw dichotomous sexuality Ying and Yang.
And this picture was shot by a hIjras as I sat for Niyaz with them.. food offerings in memory of the Holy Saint of Ajmer and I sat with the beggars and ate the Niyaz... yes I too am a beggar ,,in the eyes of a richer beggar than me .
