The Pain of Losing a Loved One

The Pain of Losing a Loved One, originally uploaded by firoze shakir photographerno1.

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What joins me to you and you to everyone else beyond caste color or creed is the magnanimity of pain, the humility of pain , pain is the common denominator, pain touches us all , there is no escaping pain or death for that matter both walking behind each other.

I shot this picture today, I could have shot it at the Shia cemetery too, but I am a poet as much as a human being and I am a father of a daughter too..so though I had my camera on my person I lacked the instincts of a photographer at that moment, when this gentleman sat on a bench weeping bitterly , he had come to the graveyard to bury his 21 year old daughter Kulsoom.

I offered my condolences like everyone else , I knew I would blog this sad episode , but I was reprimanded by one of his relatives for taking a photo of the gents offering salam in the courtyard , I was rudely asked to keep my camera away, the relative being a enormously huge personality , I placed my camera in my bag, and distanced myself from the funeral proceedings, as this was a child's funeral I was only a neighbor of the bereaved father who has a magical equation with my grand daughter Marziya..

I was here on the insistence of my wife I avoid funerals and burials completely.


I asked my wife to hasten our departure from the Shia cemetery, as this was a very sad day, the minds were upset , as the Rizvi family had lost three members in two days, first it was Salman Rizvi whose obituary I had already posted here and at Facebook and at my other websites as I had a cordial relationship with him,after he was buried , the following day his aunt expired and the Rizvi family was once again back at the cemetery completing her last rites, barely had they buried her and returned home, on the same day at 4 pm Hyder Bhais daughter Kulsum breathed her last, she had been ailing for several years..she was 21 years old and this was a great tragedy and a great personal blow to him as a doting father .

Hyder Bhai had left no stoned unturned availing the best treatment for her, several operations but he did not give up hope, this very devout humble Shia Muslim father and my very good friend.

As my earlier workplace was close to his house he shared his life's problems with me and became absolutely attached to my granddaughter Marziya.

It has taken nearly 4 hours to write this painful obituary simply because You Telecom by Internet service provider went dead , what I had written all disappeared , as I had not saved it, if there is anything worse in my life as a blogger it is simply the ruthless bad You Telecom service..

I met Hyder Saab yesterday he wept bitterly , I told him he had to be tough and relive for his other children , he held my hand and I wept too.

This picture I shot today as he sat beneath a tree in his building compound..so why does a photographer take pictures , I dont sell pictures , I have no commercial agenda, a poet photographer tales pictures to share pain , to share the intimate moments of life when death intrudes on our loved ones , breaching the walls of safety.

I could have taken a picture from the several I have at Flickr of him and my grand daughter , even the picture I have of the big shot and the majlis at the cemetery by Maulana Hasnain Karari.. bit I waited to capture this moment and poetize it on your soul, so you understand the assault of pain on a bereaved fathers heart and soul.


My wife to has suffered a blow on the day she attended Salman Rizvis burial her best friend Hashmi died , they were in school together in Lucknow , and my wife attended the remaining two burials of the Rizvi family too.

So Death does touch us though we may not be related to the aggrieved family.