Dear Dr Glenn Losack Like a Tortoise I Carry Gods World On My Back

stronger than
my limpid spirit
to the brass-tacks
i will not crack ..
my putrid pain
hauntingly keeps
coming back ,,
a saucer of tea
a piece of loaf
my morning snack
my wife bid me good
bye tears in her eyes
she could not hold
back..deleted doomed
destiny colorless black

Jalali Chowk Ajmer Sharif

As you enter the Jalali Chowk you first see the Dhuni and the head of the Jalali Rifais Nobat Ali Baba .
Beyond his fiefdom extends groups of Rifaislike the Chancawalli Rifais from Mumbai, Hijra Bawas and many other rifai orders .

Shooting the Rifai was not as easy as it seems luckily for me I was introduced to them by late Peshimam of Makhdhoom Shah Baba Dargah Mahim  my good friend Fahad Pathan.

I shot the Chancawalli Rafaees or Rifais at both the Mahim Dargahs ,, the second one on the main Mahim Road of Hazrat Fakruddin Shah Baba .

I shot the Chancawalli Rifais at Ismail Shah Babas Dargah at Parel, Ali Maulah Dargah Dharavi and climbed the Malangad mountains barefeet to shot the Haji Malang Urus for many years .

So I am known among the Rifais , than I began documenting the Madarriya Order of Dam Madar Malangs , the Sada Suhagins who are monks in ladies dresses but not eunuchs ,, and the Siddis Indo African followers of Baba Gor from the Gir Forests of Junagadh,

So it has been a very long journey ,and sadly our government does not sponsor bloggers , its all been done with my own money selling of my personal goods to make a few trip to document a world away from glossy travel brochures .

The Hijra documentary is not for public view that includes hijra healers , tantrics , shamans and hijra bawas.

Hassan Ganda and his cousin Farookh are the greatest exponents of body piercings rituals known as Zarb.. they were both related to late Handi Sai Khalifa Baba who died at Kota of overdose .. he could not do without the chillum and opium.

I have met strange Rifais there was one highly drugged Baba who in his frenzy of Kaif slashed my stomach with a sword cutting up my tshirt but not harming my body later he hugged me and cried ...

I use the sword and dagger too but I use it for real during Ashura and Chehlum to cut my head I bleed .. I hurt .

While the rifais consider bleeding a failed part of their rituals and cut themselves without bleeding this power comes from Ghaus Pak the Saint of the Rifai Order also known as Hazrat Abdul Qadir Gilani.

Late Handi Sai was keen on my becoming a Rifai but I was not spiritually inclined and after his death , I joined the Madarriya order of Dam Madar Malangs in 2011 .. with my Belgian friend Marc.

The Tap of Wisdom Runs Dry

children in gaza
searching for home
where now rubble lies
every bomb that falls
from heavenly skies
another one bites
the dust another one
dies ..a nation that
promised never another
holocaust has created
a holocaust lord of the
flies.. freedom at what
a costly price Free
Palestine Free Palestine
sitting on the bodies
of his mother a little
child cries the world
powers watch the mayhem
shut eyes ..freedom is dead
freedom arise,,,

The Street Cobbler Ajmer

I come barefeet to Ajmer my soul is taken care by the Holy Saint of the Poor Garib Nawaz Hazrat Moinuddin Chishty Al Sabri.

I shoot the streets starting from my arrival at the station till the time I reach Ajmer Sharif. I shoot simple things , simple things people in complex situations , outside Ajmer Staion are a lot of drug addicts and as most of the pilgrims with light baggage walk to the Dargah area, the entire stretch as beggars in all deformity shape and size.

This guy is repairing his rubber slipper he will pay Rs 2 to the cobbler a princely sum he is poor and it is the poor that come here to be touched holistically by Khawajah Garib Nawaz.

I am touched by people I shoot , people nameless just faces etched on my consciousness as a poet of sorts.

I only visit Ajmer during the Urus never before never after , sometimes I have been broke sold my camera lens to make this trip ,,and God gives me pictures ..pictures that I share without profit or gain.

As I am dressed as a monk a lot of hapless people ask me to bless them they give me money , and I give all this to other impoverished beggar families ,,and this is my Ajmer Urus story board .

I shot the beggars , the rifais , the malangs and perhaps the only photographer who shot the transgender hijras prolifically ,at their lodges and in transit residence.

I shot the hijra shamans , hijra kids hijra goddesses and some of the most unusual hijra Tantrics and Fakirs.

All this over 17000 images documentary is not for public view ..including hijra poetry.

Ajmer Sharif is an amazing place during the annual urus absolutely crowded , very expensive but thanks to Peersaab Fakhru Miya of Hujra no6 my host I lived at his home in his private quarters without paying a cent as he considers me his etended family.

I became a Dam Madar Malang in 2011 ..thereby strengthening my spiritual roots with the city of Ajmer Sharif.

She Is Dreaming When She Will Travel More Comfortably And She Does Not Mean The Bullet Train

acche din for you
is bullet train
but minsterjee
have you ever
taken the virar
local from bandra
or any other sardine
packed train
the stench of
 putrid armpits
overpowering
your nostrils
a journey in vain
ministerji come
down to earth
hear our complain
improve rectify
 the infrastructure
of the existing trains
before you shove
in our tight fisted ass
your bullet train
ministejee before
you open your
fish like mouth
use your brain
metro mono rail
first stop the rains
as the passengers
get soaked ..
through their
pantaloons
the water drains

to an old friend from colaba RC

If Ever God Came Down As A Human Being He Would Dread Traveling By Indian Trains

This old lady is sitting outside the filthiest unwashed Indian Railway train toilet , I think if I did shoot the train toilet you guys would puke entrails out ,, Indian shit is a very difficult subject to shoot and needs real wide lens , a panoramic shot would be like shit from asshole to eternity .

Most of the toilets are used by drugaddicts those devotees of the Holy Saint of Ajmer that go there to smoke enjoy cut pockets steal and rob.. there are others who are compulsive smokers local dons and they use the trains like their fiefdom , blaring  Qawwalis and rowdyism , it is a bad tragic scene.

If you get into an argument they will beat you black and blue and this is their idea of a holy pilgrimage ..it saddens me .. people who have valid seats tickets are pushed out of their places and  half a dozen kids will occupy it , teasing the girls womenfolks ,, and you will never see a cop or even a TC ..a Tc never comes in these compartments he is shit scared of the rowdies and besides there is no money to be made.

Most of these guys travel without ticket ..

This is my Ajmer trip re visited as a storyboard ,, hold on before you slip out of the train..

Indian Government Or Even Indian Railways Dont Really Care For Spiritual Tourism

I have been to Ajmer Urus for many years , and though they have extra trains running it is not enough , and it was the same during the Maha Kumbh the utter chaos at Allahabad Station .

And honestly Indian Railways is the most incompetent transport authority , and nobody cares , the crooks in and around railway stations , the corrupt Ticket Checkers  the useless manless Railway Cops they are never there when a lady is being molested or someone is thrown out of a running train.. and I have never seen them yes I do see them vividly when they are at the  Charbagh Station or at VT making money from hapless migrants giving them a seat and everyone knows it but we are born corrupt it is in or blood and wont ever go..

We spend a fortune making our kids doctors lawyers cops etc and most of them forget that sacrifice .. to get a good posting you have to pay , no proper outsourcing its a living tragedy we appease on caste minority never take merit into consideration.. we have to grease the palm of officials traffic cops octroi agents and with money you can do anything .. you need money to get money.

And this family has a  valid ticked but they are on waiting list so they are sitting by the doorside of the Ajmer train.. this life I have sat there many a time.

Seeing my Press Card my age a good TC would offer me a seat ..this is the great travel tragedy of India I have shot all my trips on the train , the pain .. and to whom does one complain , the shitty food the toilets with passengers traveling in it , the drugs , the booze everything you can see on trains..

And this is train travel .. in the chalu dabba ordinary class it is worst .. I was scared to travel because of my camera equipment ,,the fear of it getting stolen.