i rushed towards
a running train
on the Bandra tracks
but the train shyly
backed away
disgusted
i tried to jump
from a tall building
but i was caught
by the watch man
half way
up the way
unnerved
i tried to drown
myself
near old
sea rock
but the tide
was low that day
i tried to drink
tik 20
but my wife
pulled
the bottle away
i thought
i would douse myself
with
kerosene
light my soul away
but due to the heavy rains
the match box got wet
my fucked up fate they say
as a last resort
i tried to cut my wrist
to emotionalize my pain
but the knife cut
the wrong artery
on earth i was
doomed to stay
without telling
anyone
i hid in a ladies
toilet and tried
to drown myself
in the toilet bowl
i almost succeeded
but the flush chain
gave away
from behind yama
manipulator of life and death
gave me a kick on my ass
saying
why the fuck you call me
you know i am busy
in india always
now go about
living
dont scare my wits away
your home loan
your credit card payment
your mobile phone bill
your shop rent
money that you took from
friends on a rainy day
your next of kin wont pay
so you have to stay
in transit
till i come again
this way
to those guys
who owe you money
in the industry
too bad
their pictures bomb
every Friday
your money
they will never pay
where there is will
the devil finds a way
once upon a time in Mumbai
when you were born was once
upon a time in Bombay
so try to
live for just another day
go on blogging
the soul of humanity
till your bad times
slog away
shooting pain
but hiding your
own pain
beneath
every word
you say
